Tuesday, December 8, 2015

To my immediate family

To my immediate family,

Reading your emails has cheered me up a bit more than how I felt prior, because I just feel like I have no sense of balance these days. I feel like there are so many things out of my control and I simply don't know how to feel. I feel like I don't have permission to think about home, yet I have so many instances where it crosses my mind or missionaries or members bring it up and ask what my future holds, etc. It's all a very trying period of my life and it certainly doesn't help when you aren't having the most success in your very last area. Oi aue, I'm gonna ask some of the elders for a blessing tomorrow at our zone meeting. 

It's not that any of you are doing anything wrong, I just feel a type of resentment toward lots of things that deal with home right now. If anything, my love has grown deeper and healthier for you all since I've been out here. It may not appear that way right now, but I can assure you that God loves families and the most important and retained lessons will be through the Spirit in a home devoted to God and every family (including our own) needs that. I long to experience that feeling with you once again.

If anything, just keep me in your prayers and keep the faith. I'll be okay, I just need to man-up by humbling myself. The Lord chastens those He loves and when all is said and done, the scars in Christ's hands and feet will never close up, therefore His grace and forgiveness will always be accessible through His sacrifice. And because of my gratitude for that, I will pass out a card to someone in the library, that will make me feel better. 

Well everyone, I ought to sign out and get back to work! Stay safe and be warm! I love you.

- Elder Bennion

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